Christmas Captions

The website Smart Bitches Trashy Books held a caption contest for my Mistletoe Madness cover, and at this point there are over two hundred entries. Grab some eggnog and enjoy the full collection HERE, or enjoy a few appetizers below:

Is that a candy cane in your pants, or are you just happy to see me? ~Micki

Silent night, horny night, boner’s warm, underwear’s tight. ~Buffy

It’s gonna be a hard candy Christmas! ~Brett G.

Perhaps Mark should have been more specific when he told Steve to put the nuts out. ~D.W. Marchwell

And a heartwarming little poem by Melissandre:

‘Twas the night before Christmas, and I was nonplussed,
Not a creature was stirring, including some lust!
My partner had dusted, decked halls, and gift wrapped;
Now all that he sought was a long winter’s nap.

But I wasn’t ready to go straight to bed,
But what could make “sugarplums” dance in his head?
Then, what to my wondering eyes should appear
But those Christmas briefs (got as a gag gift last year).

I entered the room, caught his eye, quirked a brow,
Then, holding some mistletoe, boldly dropped trou
There I stood before him, my pride on the shelf,
And he laughed when he saw me, in spite of himself.

More rapid than eagles, he came to my side
And said, “Here’s a present that’s too good to hide!”
But I heard him exclaim as the curtains were drawn,
“Take your Christmas briefs off, and then let’s get it on!”


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